


good bye, my cosmos

by smnthsky



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Comfort/Angst, M/M, Making Out, nothing but pain here folks!, still pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:09:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29713512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smnthsky/pseuds/smnthsky
Summary: He was a cosmos that was never meant to be touched yet he, a low-like meteor, managed to orbit around him freely.
Relationships: Byakuran/Irie Shouichi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	good bye, my cosmos

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this for a certain pair of friends in twitter (@smth_hq), this is for you raven, and nadia *withers away*
> 
> also, i blame the song 'if the world was ending' for giving me constant 10051 feels

In Irie's eyes, Byakuran has always shone brighter than any gas-filled star. He outshines the biggest star there is. He was a star, as per their past colleagues would say, but for Irie…

Byakuran was a never-ending cosmos.

He was filled with stars that shone like tiny helicopters on a New Yorkian night. He has thousands of planets that show great forms of life, and aesthetic of living. He was a universe that is a gateway for millions more of the cosmos inside of him.

Byakuran was endless for Irie. He was an organized chaos, and a beautiful misery.

That's why when Irie found a future where everything is ashen and grey—

He finds too that Byakuran can explode and become the biggest and ruthless blackhole that this world will ever see.

(Oh Irie was terrified, such a small teen, who knew nothing yet learns that Byakuran is merciless but so forgiving.)

When Irie approached the Tsuna of this world,  _ the last world, _ he realized too that he was the bomb that would trigger the death of a blackhole. He will be the one fusing the end of the grenade to explode, to  _ destroy, _ the most beautiful and complex cosmos that he had ever laid his eyes on, that he ever touched, and embraced in those other worlds of failure filled with longing, and sweetness.

"Shouichi-sama. We suggest that you rest." One of the Cervello women stated on his left, a light worry in her tone.

"You've been staring at the screen for too long. We'll take it from here, we assure you." The other added from his right.

Irie knows what he is doing. He doesn't need rest. Not now. The time is approaching. It won't be long before the past Vongola infiltrate the Melone Base, and that will be the first part of the "dead" Decimo's plan to finish. He needs to check on everything. He needs to be prepared.

But who was he kidding? Irie was just doing these sudden scans, and requests so that he could distract himself from the impending end of this world's darkness. He fears that once he sets a foot out of his office, his thoughts will be warped around a certain white-haired marshmallow maniac, and he  _ wouldn't _ be able to take the thoughts so well. Yet here he is, still thinking of that marshmallow maniac even though he's still inside his office.

However, with whatever excuses or real reasons he makes, he can feel his eyes burn from just glimpsing on the overly bright screen. He was tired. He needs to rest. He knows that entirely too well.

(He also knows the warmth of a blanket around him when he falls asleep in his office with no one around. Two hands on his shoulder, pressing, and caressing with so much worship and adoration. The scent of powdered sugar, and strawberries. He knows those too well.)

After some more coaxing from Irie's two assistants, he finally relented and stood up from his seat, sighing heavily.

"If anything happens wrong, even a small piece of data misinformed, wake me up to check on it, alright?" Irie said, looking at the two pink-haired women and his other employees under him, nodding at his order.

He declined the escorts that stood beside him when he left the room, using a stern command to stay and luckily, it worked. He must have looked stressed if they didn't push any further.

Irie walked through the most familiar white walls around him. Everything was white and clean. It almost feels like you're walking in a corridor in heaven. The whiteness made him think of a certain white haired man with his uniquely purple tattoo under his left eye and that teasing glint from the shining amethysts in his head—

He groaned loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers, ears hot. 

He knew he was thinking of Byakuran again. 

It made Irie remember that small talk between him and this world's Tsuna. He remembers Tsuna's sympathetic gaze on him when Irie explained what he knew about Byakuran. He remembers those gentle brown eyes scanning his face with every word he pulls out.

_ "Shouichi-san, are you sure you want to go through this plan? We could think of another way." _

There was no other way, Irie wanted to say that time. He wants to scream at that man, to say fuck you and this world. Why does it have to be this world? Why does it have to be  _ him? _

With that question, Irie knows that Tsuna knows. Nothing could pass from his sharp intuition and calm gaze. Still he couldn't help but feel offended that Tsuna instantly  _ knew. _

Irie clicked his tongue, opening the door of his room and stepping inside. Even in this room, it was white.

White walls. White ceilings. White bed sheets with white pillows, and white desk that has a stack of white papers with black printed ink. Everything was white, even his clothes were white. The only thing that has color is him yet he still feels so bleak.

He instantly went to his bed, falling face down on the cold sheets, melting the heat of his face and it felt good. Especially when he closed his eyes and felt heaven when he sees darkness, such a comfort color.

However, Irie's small paradise was shattered when there was a beeping sound and a click-clack of someone entering the room without his permission— _ again— _ and there was only one person who could do that, who would annoy him to death but he will always get worried constantly over him.

"My sun guardian looks extremely tired, huh?" This sing-song voice only ever belonged to the person who's been plaguing Irie since he had met him. 

_ Don't call me yours, _ Irie wanted to spat but didn't.

He slowly stood up from his bed, wincing at the head rush even though he went up slowly. He rubbed his temple with a pinched expression as he sat up, eyes easily going to the brightest thing inside the room.

Byakuran smiled. He always does nowadays. If that smile even goes down for a millisecond, you're in for a treat. His hands out from his pockets, where it usually is, always so casual and easy. It was peculiar that he wasn't wearing his Mare ring. He stood stiffly too. Irie doesn't understand but for some reason, he feels like he needs to run.  _ Now. _

But he didn't.

"What are you doing here in my room again, Byakuran-san?" Irie chided with a flat tone and a small smile for pleasantries.

"Can't I visit my favorite guardian to see how he is doing?" Byakuran replied with a smirk. He was in a teasing mood, Irie was relieved but that still didn't shake off the unsettling feeling inside him.

Irie unclasped the white cape from his shoulders, scowling to the taller man. "Don't let Genshiki-san hear that or else he'll have my head. Quite literally, if I may add." He scolded.

He remembers that one time when Byakuran carelessly announced to a meeting that Irie was his favorite and he spoils him (which he does not at all, well, not that Irie knows of?), and obviously, everyone likes tormenting Irie so the rumors escalated and before he knows it he was almost stabbed to death by a glaring Genkishi in front of him. Luckily, he was saved by Gamma, of all people, but the threat was real and Irie would very much like to have his chest not full of holes and his head intact to his body.

(However, Irie won't ever say how light and fleeting he feels when Byakuran says that to everyone. How the other man looked at him in the eye that screams danger and a smile that is sweet and full of adoration. Irie won't say but he'll remember that until he dies.)

Apparently, Byakuran remembered that time too and laughed, falling beside Irie, who was pulling his boots off, freeing his socked feet.

There was no space between them. Irie could feel the vibrations of Byakuran's laugh, and that sickeningly sweet smell of marshmallows and strawberries. He finds it terrifying, his senses overridden but he doesn't pull away.

He finds that he couldn't be pulled away. He was already one of the asteroids that was being pulled into the beautiful cosmos that is Byakuran.

"So, what are you really doing here, Byakuran?" Irie asked for the second time. This time dropping the formality, knowing well that Byakuran hates it when he acts distant.

(There are times that Irie couldn't help it. The pain of what's about to come. The losses that he will have. The future of being alone. He couldn't help but look away whenever Byakuran expects him to look back.)

The laugh was long gone and a short silence followed.

"The Vongola are coming, aren't they?"

And just like that, Irie wanted to let go of anything and assure Byakuran that he won't betray him. That he will be with him until the death.

But the sad thing is that he did. He betrayed him. He won't be with him until his death. He'll have to think that Byakuran is an enemy instead of a friend. He needs to act against him. He did some, and he will do the others.

Irie trembled when he knew that Byakuran was looking at him, really looking. He must have the most terrible poker face in the world. So he let himself release a sigh, almost defeated. His eyes wandered on his clenched fists on his lap, shaking.

"How did you know?" He asked instead, answering.

Good thing Byakuran anticipated this.

"I had a hunch."

"A  _ hunch." _ Irie breathlessly stated, baffled. He turned his head and was drawn in easily to Byakuran's eyes, they weren't shining with mirth, they were dull but held no danger for him. He was only asking for answers.

Irie felt his breath get stuck inside his throat and quickly looked away, glaring to his fists. "What will you do?" It was a foolish thing to ask. Byakuran probably has a plan to defeat Vongola and maybe even his death.

"I have a lot in mind." An impassive answer. 

It wrecked Irie's mind.

"But none of what you are thinking right now." Byakuran added, voice quiet, and so small.

Irie blinked behind his glasses and was about to ask for clarification until he felt a head on his shoulder. His cheek tickled by the thick mass of a spiky hair from his boss. He felt himself go still, not moving an inch, maybe he didn't breath too. He looked forward, surprised, and waiting for where this will go next.

"Irie… Let me stay like this for a little while." Byakuran whispered, his arm snaking around Irie's waist and it sent uncontrollable tingles all around his body until his hand landed on Irie's hipbone, gripping slightly then releasing but his half embrace didn't relented. It felt good, it felt  _ right. _ So he couldn't blame himself when he leaned back to Byakuran, letting his head fall on top of that white soft hair, his breath shaky.

Irie has probably seen Byakuran's every part of his personality. However, everything but this one. 

"Byakuran?" He said.

"They get so loud sometimes." Byakuran confessed all of a sudden. His voice sullen, it was new, entirely new. Irie has no idea what to do but listen. "The other me's, that is. When there is danger approaching, they scream for me to listen. They know what will happen, and they want me to stop what's about to come." He added.

Irie felt a hand on top of his, unclenching his fingers and holding his hand like it's a treasured thing. His hand felt a rush. He hopes that his hand won't sweat. He hopes this moment never ends.

"Will you?" He answered.

"For once, I won't do what they want." 

That was new too. Actually, this whole scene is new. Ever since the last world, Irie and Byakuran had never held each other like this. Never had a chance to just bask into the presence of one another. To hold each other's hand or feel their breath. 

All of a sudden, Irie instantly knew.

"Byakuran—you—"

The hand on top of him squeezed his hand, stopping Irie from whatever he was about to say. He clenched his jaw, anxiety gnawing his stomach like a rubbery beef jerky. It makes him want to throw up, and never eat at all.

"Shh. Be quiet, Irie-kun." Byakuran softly chided, there was a teasing tone in his voice but it sounded more tired, resigned, than mischievous.

So Irie did. He let himself listen to Byakuran's steady breathing next to him, embedding it into his mind because he knows— _ he knows. _ He feels Byakuran's heat on his shoulder, on the arm around his waist, on his hand. He will remember this.

For once, he'll let himself feel Byakuran.

"How does it feel when they talk to you?" Irie asked, an innocent question, something that just popped right now or maybe because he really can't handle the silence between them.

Byakuran hummed, knowing him so well. "Loud. They shout rather than speak. It's mind numbing sometimes. At first, I got intense migraines, it almost felt like dying."

Irie's eyes widen, realization hitting him. "In our college days. You often skip classes. Is that it?" 

"Yep." 

"Oh my god. I thought you were lying!" Irie exclaimed, pulling slightly away to look down to Byakuran, who was now wearing a calm smile on his face.

"Fufu. I know." 

"Why didn't you told me—wait, that's a dumb question." Irie winced.

Byakuran laughed. His shoulders shaking from the laugh and his voice loud, and happy. It suited him, Irie smiled at that and memorized the way the taller man laughed. 

The taller man pulled away, but not far from Irie, rather he brushed his perfect nose on Irie's cheek, just touching and it instantly took the red head's breath away. He looked back to those shining purple eyes, he let himself get mesmerized by it, he let himself fall into it.

Irie didn't mean to lick his lips or when his eyes darted down to Byakuran's lips because those lips that he used to kiss a thousand times before in those lifetimes were just  _ right there _ .

And oh he craves. He craves this magnificent man beside him.

Byakuran smiled, a genuine one not one of those smiles he uses to look down on people or the show stoppers. He smiled for Irie, and his free hand was on his cheek, the heat making Irie dizzy from want.

"Don't tell the Vongola that I know." His boss stated, serious.

Irie blinked. "What? I can—"

"I promise I won't sabotage anything. Let your plan work out how it is supposed to be, Irie." Byakuran cuts in, the hand on Irie's hip tightening but not enough to hurt the other.

Irie was beyond baffled. This wasn't Byakuran at all! Byakuran has a plan on  _ everything _ . On every back up plan, every movement of his armies, a plan so that he could control the chess of life that he plays everyday. He doesn't understand. Unless—it finally hit him.

Instantly, Irie's hands gripped Byakuran's shirt, shaking, and green eyes unfocused yet Byakuran followed the unsteady gaze with ease. 

"B-Byakuran—please—"  _ What am I begging for? The fate of this world depends on this plan! _ Irie shouted to himself, to his bleeding heart inside his chest, crying out to the pain.

"Shhh. It's okay." Byakuran whispered, pulling Irie close to him. The red head's face is on the junction between Byakuran's neck and shoulder.

The scent of marshmallows and strawberries overtaken Irie's senses. It smells so sweet but Irie felt so much grief, and guilt. He threw all caution in the air, wrapping his arms around Byakuran's lean torso, his hands clenched on his back, clawing for no reason why. He could feel Byakuran's hands on his hips, thumbs going circles around his bones, calming him.

"It's not okay." Irie breathed out, shaky. His whole body was trembling, a first sign of a panic attack. Even his breathing was turning into short gasps of air, he feels so weak, and it feels so right to be so weak to the most powerful man in the room. 

"It is."

"It's not, goddammit!" Irie shouted, eyes shut close and felt the arms around him tightened. "How could you say that!? Y-You—You're just going to leave?  _ Die? _ You'll die just like that? Byakuran, I-I—I can't see you like that! But—I—this has to happen… Oh god, I'm so sorry—please, please, why does it have to be  _ you? _ " He rambles, letting his anxiety get the better of him, and tears falling from his eyes.

_ Why does it have to be you? _ It wasn't fair. For Byakuran to suffer such an ill fate when Irie too was suffering with the same situation as him. Byakuran may deserve it but it doesn't mean it hurts any less, rather it only hurts even more. 

What do you do when you watch an entire cosmos explode, and be swallowed by its own black hole? What do you do to save this beloved cosmos that the both of you shared in many lifetimes?

"Shouichi-kun is still a crybaby after all, huh?" Byakuran sang, the usual teasing tone in his voice and it irritates Irie so much.

He pulled away, jaw clenched, and glaring to the other man. "How can you be so—!?" However, before he could even rant off, there was the familiar feeling against his lips, and all of a sudden, he knew how sweet marshmallows are.

Irie remembers the women—hell, even men—looking at Byakuran in each universe. He remembers their heated stares, the vibrant wants in their eyes, their hands lingering on his shoulders, and chest. He remembers the first time the both of them fell into bed together, both drunk, and just helplessly horny. It was a one time thing but for him, it felt endless. 

"Please…" Irie whispered between kisses from Byakuran. He  _ needs  _ it. He needs him.

And it feels so painful.

Byakuran only nodded before  _ finally _ closing the space between them, finally getting Irie's longtime unanswered question of what Byakuran’s lips would feel like against his own in this world. They were impossibly soft, which he expected with how religiously Byakuran used chapstick, but they were also warm and pliant against his dry, chapped lips. The taste of powdered sugar and strawberries was inside Irie's mouth now, and it tastes so sweet, and so, so, good.

Kissing Byakuran felt like discovering a new religion. Kissing Byakuran felt like seeing a new planet among us. Kissing Byakuran felt so amazing, so good, so right, and so, so sweet.

Irie pulled away, overwhelmed but not far that he couldn't feel the other's hot breath against his mouth.

"So-Sorry—I—"  _ This is literally a mood killer, Irie! Get yourself together! _ He could feel the rush of blood in his face making him dizzy.

Byakuran didn't say anything but hummed, placing kisses all over his face, over his cheeks, nose, the corner of his lips.

The actions only made Irie be more embarrassed. He whined, looking away from Byakuran's intense gaze on him, watching his every move. Knowing that Irie won't be able to handle this closeness, Byakuran pulled away his glasses, placing kisses on his eyes, relishing the tiny gasps from the other.

Byakuran gave him a second before latching back on, hands finding their way to the nape of his neck and playing with the short hair there. Irie keened quietly into the kiss at the action, feeling shivers run down his spine at the action and Byakuran breathed in the sound naturally.

Irie licked Byakuran's lips, although hesitantly, and shyly. His nerves must have been so obvious because Byakuran pulled him closer, tugging his hips to move. So Irie did, lifting himself from the bed to fully straddle Byakuran. Their mouths never left each other and this was a better angle than before. Byakuran's hands settled on Irie's hips while Irie wrapped his arms around the other's neck, one hand clenched on the spiky mass of hair.

This time Byakuran traced his tongue along Irie's lips, the red head gasping as he kissed into his mouth, tracing along every ridge and crevice he could find with care. If Irie didn't know better, it was almost like Byakuran memorizing the way his mouth feels. 

"Bya— _ haah _ —w-wait—" Irie gasped, words stuttering out without thought and felt himself go blank when Byakuran bites his lower lip, rough enough to bleed out, and Irie  _ whined _ , a high filthy sound and Byakuran  _ loves _ it.

Byakuran kissed the abused lip, licking the blood away, and relishing the shivers that Irie does in every action he makes. Irie was shivering more than before as his grip on Byakuran's hair tightened, and pulled. The latter groaned, pulling him closer, as their kisses turned into teeth and tongues.

They parted after a few more minutes of the back and forth, Irie getting more hotter with each passing moment and Byakuran's hair messier than it should have been.

Byakuran breathed into Irie's neck, a shaky one that made Irie embrace him tighter. 

"I wish this world could have been better for us." Byakuran whispered, a small thing to wish for as a destroyer of parallel worlds.

Byakuran rarely wishes because everything he wants, he can get it, be it by force, or genuine. Yet there will always be that one wish that he hoped to come true. But know that it never will. 

"I wish so too." Irie said, pressing a kiss on Byakuran's jaw. "Why won't you stop us?"

"I'm tired, Irie." 

Irie didn't need to ask anymore, so he kept his mouth shut and let Byakuran roll them over on his bed, cuddling into the white sheets, and pillows. Byakuran's head stays on his chest, listening to his heart, and lungs filling up. Irie held him tightly, whispering sweet nothings to that white hair.

"If I ever get reborn, I want to take Shouichi-kun in my favorite dessert place in Tokyo." 

Irie gasped, his breathing shaky and nodded. He can feel the tears in his eyes again, threatening to fall, but he held them in, he had to. 

"I don't like sweets." He replied instead.

Byakuran chuckled. "They have a really good coffee menu. I'm sure you'll like it." 

_ I'll like everything you want me to like. If I could, I want to take you away from here, and hide.  _ Irie cried, his heart bleeding, and screaming to run away together, to fuck this world and let it burn if it is meant to be.

Byakuran didn't say anything but left kisses and promises for a better future on his chest.

What all Irie did was to hold on to his cosmos. Like a meteor orbiting around a beautiful planet.

\---

It ended.

His beautiful cosmos finally exploded into a black hole then into nothingness.

Irie sobbed when no one was looking, and felt Byakuran's lips touching his before fading away into dust.


End file.
